I think we should fly a lear jet all the time…well, minus the medivac thing. 😉The flight was fast; the crew were awesome and Fraser is ‘settled’ into his new digs at Foothills. I’m adjusting (well, trying really really really hard!) to the new surroundings and way of doing things.
Running every test again which means Fraser is once again a pin cushion; more CT scans and xrays…but I get it…wanting to get their own baseline. For such a busy day he is actually doing really well. His breathing is good; bp is good…so now to await the test results and talk to the doctors during rounds tomorrow am! ...see what friends I can make. 😉
I am allowed to stay tonight only…which is actually kind of scary for me. It feels like I’m abandoning him. 😢 He has no voice so I’ve filled in some blanks for each nurse; doctor; respiratory therapist etc. that comes in. I also know this could be a long process so this is an eventuality I’d be facing at some point…and I’m not sure it will ever be ‘easier’. The ultimate in trust and giving over.
My brother and Mom were here when we arrived and their hugs felt so good. 💕 I’m tired today (understandable) and I realized it’s actually kind of scary for me when new people come to see him. To explain some of who this person representing ‘Fraser’ is and they get excited at a finger movement when I know he used to move his arm. It makes me sad, not hopeful. And then I feel bad for not having more hope. 😢
I am trying to prepare for the marathon I keep being told this is and we’ve kind of run the gamut in the past two weeks! And although it’s only been two weeks, it’s been the longest and fastest two weeks all at once!
I think so much happens in such an acute setting (every hour and every day seemed to bring something new) that this ‘settling in’ is the break I needed...
I am glad to be home (I’ll get there tomorrow) and we just need to find our way…again.
Until tomorrow... 💕
Mom and brother hugs, ahhhhhh ❤️ breathe and remember Fraser is a ‘new’ patient to the team at Foothills. They will learn you are his security guard soon 😉 💕 This is going to be another marathon, but you can do it because now you will have more people beside you, closer to you and don’t feel like you need to explain anything, and if they have come to see both of you, they know what to expect (or should). You are doing great, go see your fur baby and kids, smell your house, shop your closet, make yourself a tea in your favourite mug, sit in your ‘space’, It sounds silly but it will help rejuvenate you for yourself…
So happy the trip home went well. We got you covered with sending lots of love and healing energy .
Glad your mom and brother are there. Remember to share Fraser time. Everyone will get up to speed. You need some Brooke time. It's not selfish; it's necessary. You are no good to anyone if you go down. Lots of folks getting covid so be careful of that around public places like, say, hospitals. Drive safe on those snowy roads.
So pleased to hear you are back in Canada. We really appreciate your updates. X
Sending big big hugs! And lots of healing strength!!