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caelinp9

October 25 1:11 pm

In wanting to know something I settled. Too many unknowns and an answer would at least help guide much needed direction. Especially feeling so hopeless when I thought of Fraser’s (not so great) prognosis. So I settled for the path put before us…and forgot we didn’t actually have to choose that path!


Neurologist came this morning and he offered some hope. 🫶Trying to mitigate being too hopeful because this roller coaster is really really really hard….but feeling far better than I was yesterday for sure. Thanks to those of you who held that space for hope while mine crashed. It worked!


He still feels that Fraser can make a somewhat ‘meaningful’ recovery and, being Vegas I guess, said he would bet money on it.🙏 It will take time, but the next few days are critical….like we haven’t been here before. 😞


I told him, and the attending doctor they should get into a room, duke it out, and then come talk to us so they can have a more united front…he agreed it’s been tough. 😢The neurologist felt that two weeks is the usual timeline for recovery and didn’t realize we are ‘only’ at day 8.


Fraser is off all sedation and cpap has been on all night (this is good). He is getting pain meds to help deal with the brain bleed etc. Lungs have quite a bit of fluid (over 7L) in them so working on that; he still has pulmonary edema but could be due to the extra fluid in his lungs right now. I asked about his myocardial function and he did acknowledge that myocarditis and blood clots were a very reasonable concern considering the ‘therapeutic’ offered these past few years. If anyone out there is concerned, you can ask your doctor (or in some places, go to a private clinic) for a D-dimer test to help check for blood clots.  Might explain the initial ‘event’ but we still don’t know.


So, he’s been cleared for transport! A day or a week but he’s stable enough to go. OT  came and sat him up and it didn’t affect his bp so this is good. Still hard to see this big man slumped over…but again, allowing this was just for today.


My good friend and mentor, Robert has been amazing at helping us navigate the medical speak. He also gave me the following this morning:


Stay in the fight.


Japanese proverb is “Nana korobi, ya oki” which means “Fall down seven times, stand up eight.” It means choosing to never give up hope, and to always strive for more. It means that your focus isn't on the reality in front of you, but on a greater vision that may not be reality yet.


So I am reminded to continue to hold a greater vision in my heart and not get sucked into ‘settling’. I’m standing back up thanks to all of you. I know last night’s post touched many and I thank you for having the courage to remain on this ride with us.


Today is a new day.


And breathe. ❤️‍🩹

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7 Comments


tracylynmoland
Oct 27, 2023

All my love and support to you. Tracy Lyn

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nursetrish1
Oct 26, 2023

Sending so much love and positivity to you all ❤️‍🩹🙏😘

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DL Morley
DL Morley
Oct 26, 2023

A woman like you never has to settle.

Yes, the doctors should get the message clear before informing the family. I hate to say it, but he may be better off with America doctors and nurses than at a Canadian hospital with all the cuts and nursing shortages. The transfer of care could be more problematic than staying a bit longer.

Actually, Fraser is waiting for you to get tired of your clothes and go to the discount mall south of town to reward yourself for what you've gone through.

Have you brought him great smelling coffee? Have you read some soft porn to him? Have you played the music he listened to in high school? Get on it. Stimu…

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joehnckd
Oct 26, 2023

Wow! More hope today ♥️🙏. Thank you for for the update! Much love and b.. positivity 🤗

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Harmony Howe
Harmony Howe
Oct 25, 2023

Thanks so much for the updates, it is sounding a little more promising then the last blog 🤞🏼 What a trying time for you all, so heartbreaking 💔. Hang in there! sending you all HUGS and strength ❤️🇾

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