January 9 10:20pm

*there are no photos of Fraser in bed to go along with this post😆

So, Thailand. We 'won' the trip on a silent auction, I mean, as Fraser pointed out, 'We still had to 'BUY' the tickets! You know that right?'. Meh. Semantics. We won them.😉

Man were we lucky to travel as we did....and still mostly like each other at the end of most of our trips. 😁

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Don’t judge me. Buuuttt….I just washed my sheets today. Yes, I had tears, but I walked by and decided, just then, that it was time.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not because they’re waaaaaaay past due (no judgement, remember?), or the fact Fraser and I, and then he, last slept in them. Nope, it was because I had a really shitty sleep last night.

I’m sure I’ve had a few crappy sleeps this past little while, but for the most part I’ve actually slept really well (and yes, I've used some help sometimes)…but not last night! Don’t know what it was but it just wasn’t cool. I can’t regulate my emotions when I don’t sleep…and I don’t like not having the patience for the feelings that need to be attended to when they show up. I mean, they're going to show up anyways, gotta invite them in for a minute, right?

So, when I walked by my bed I decided to cleanse my home. And, noooot like, cleaning cleaning, but ‘cleansing’. You know when you open the windows in the spring and let all that beautiful fresh air in? Kind of like that but not at -effincold!

I grabbed some sandalwood and began smudging my home. No, I didn’t play any hippie dippie music and chant things (I know some of you are thinking that!) with crystals in my hand. Hmmmmm….maybe next time.

Anyways, as I walked through each room I found myself saying, ‘Love, Healing and Peace’ (sounds like a chant but it’s not! Ok?). There are more specific ways to clear one's home, but this is what I was drawn to today. As I walked past my bed, I stopped. It was time for a full cleanse. As much as old memories lie here, so too does old energy.

I did this many years ago after my doctor suggested I do a cleansing after Sadie (our first fur-heart) died. That was our first real loss of a fur baby and it was harder than either of us knee. She came in that afternoon and said, 'wow! It feels different in here! Did you paint or something?'. I hadn't told her anything before she came, nor at that point could you smell the sage. It just felt (noticeably) fresher.

So, old sheets off, new, cozier (When does Global Warming begin?) jersey sheets on and….fresh. Its rather cathartic re-making a bed from it's nakedness. Kind of get to try new things on for a while...sort of like my journey right now I suppose. Finding that which suits the 'old/new me'. So, apparently the new me is now a bedsheet....I'll work on that metaphor. Probably won't sleep thinking about it now too. Good grief (literally).

But, it does feel so much brighter and lighter in here now. Peaceful.

Sweet dreams, Brooke