I always considered myself an extrovert. For the longest time Fraser was an introvert but because his job demanded he be more ‘social’, he eventually considered himself bi…social. 😉We considered how we ‘recharge’ and his was to be away from people while I happily chatted on (sometimes maybe a little too much? Nah!) and recharged through group energy...like his company Christmas parties. ☺️
Something changed in the past few years and he and I would both laugh at the fact we were switching roles. When the kids were little, we (him included) considered him the ‘brick wall’ while he considered me a ‘jellyfish’. I considered it self-care and self-preservation…perspective matters.
But, knowing this about us we figured out a way to try and have a ‘backbone’ parenting style. No different than our spine; it provides structure while having the ability to move without rigidity or without crumbling. We worked with our differences to try and meet in the middle somewhere. Yes. It took work!
A few years back we were in a cab one morning on our way to the airport. I was chatting with the driver and Fraser looked at me and said, ‘sure are chatty in the mornings aren’t you?!’. To be fair, it was at the end of a week long conference and we..um…he…well…we had a lot of late nights. Work events obviously! Anyways, I could have chosen to be insulted, but instead I laughed and asked him if that was an epiphany after 20 years of marriage or was he just admiring one of the (many?) reasons he chose to marry me. Fast forward a few years and he was now the one chatting up the driver while I sat in contemplative silence. He sure was chatty! 😁
All that brings me to this. I think part of my trepidation in going out last night was that I realized it would now be up to ME to hold entire conversations. And not with my friends (we can sit in silence and that is a beautiful gift), but with strangers. I can’t simply rely on him to have input or hold the conversation while I ponder life and its meaning in silence…or where the individual socks from the dryer have gone. I so admired his ability to be concise in his conversations…and was happy to listen and let him carry them for a bit. I can no longer do small-talk (I find it tedious and unimportant) but he was excellent at it! And not in a disingenuous way either. He really did listen and pay attention.
Either way, wtf?! 😆 Now I have to do it all? On my own?! Pretty sure I didn’t think that would be a(nother ) reason I miss him! It’s kind of a funny reason to miss someone but it was those kinds of things that made us work together. Again, not all the time. I mean, Fraser was mostly wrong and I was almost always right..and charming and delightful. You can’t ask him so, just ask me…and if I start to fade just pretend I’m pulling a Fraser and leave the room to recharge…I’ll get back to you…pinky swear!
Sweet dreams!
Brooke
Indivividual socks escape the dryer only to end up, battered, dirty and lost on the side of the road. By the time they learn they should have stayed in the dryer, it's too late.
You will figure the solo social interaction thing just fine. You may find the advantages of always doing what you want, when you want, with whomever you want. Through your blogs it has been interesting to see the underneath yet large differences in our lives; me as an always single person and you as virtually always part of a couple. Try and enjoy the "freedom" of being the sole decider. It has perks. It has its drawbacks. Don't dwell on those.
With the number of good friends you have, you never have to be alone unless it's by choice. As long as I am on this earth, I am by your side.